Things I learned on Amazon.

[che_gilson]

I have been spending an apalling amount of time on amzon lately working my way through the descriptions and excerpts offered by the search "vampires" and "urban fantasy" I made it to page 65 or so on the vampire search- far in to start running into more self published crap than actual book (harsh, I know just suck it up). And I'm currently on page 31 0f the urban fantasy search.

This is what I've learned.

All heroines must be kick-butt. Martial welcome but not mandatory.
All heroines must be gorgious, not average, not a little chunky, but a Victoria Secret model.
All heroines must talk about shoes to express their feminity.
All heroines must have AT LEAST two boyfriends- both of whom are roaringly hot. Additional boyfriends may apply.
All heroines must come by their powers accidently. 
All heroines must be reluctant or feel put-upon because of their powers.
All heroines must have a brand name gun and said gun must be a 9mm or better.
All heroines must be sassy.
All heroines must have an 'interesting' name.
All heroines must have quirky sidekicks.
All heroines should be concerned about their clothes.
All heroines must have a tragic past.
All heroines must be obsessed with sex.
All heroines should be snarky/sarchastic/take a stab at wit and or humo, often at inappropriate moments.
All heroines should be stubborn because stubborn=strong.