Feb. 18th, 2011

che_gilson: (Isabella)

This is a follow up to Sporticus Blud and Sand. I watched the WHOLE series. Wow.... Just wow.... OK it goes like this: boobs, violence, boobs, blood, violence, penis, violence, boobs, blood, violence, penis, boobs and blood and violence. Every episode is blood soaked sex, scheming plot twists AND for the ladies: the occasional somewhat distant full frontal male nudity. If you can get to about episode 4 the writing gets better and the plot reversals get fierce. The true test of grit though is sitting through FOUR freaking episodes. Apparently ALL Romans cussed like sailors because every other word is fuck and cock. And all Romans were also British/Aussie/Scottish proving the fact that accents=evil. When the gladiator's personal trainer (name unknown, he's called something like Doctore the whole series) gives the newbs his opening speech about how to fuck death in the arena, no, he'ss not speeking metaphorically... And then gives a blow by blow on exactly HOW one is supposed to fuck death. I was embarassed for the actor! I was embarassed for a lot of the actors. BUT Lucy Lawless has really great boobs for woman her age. REALLY good, but still natural looking. Not like weird silicon sandbags or something. The best character is actually Lucy lawless and her huband The Brother From the Mummy. Batiatus (the brother from the Mummy) is amazing! His acting is great, and well, kind of hammy. But then so is everyone!

The verdict- So bad it's good. It shoots past BAD and acheives lightspeed somewhere around awesome. It's like 300 on meth after a bad heroine binge. It's insane. It's a trainwreck, it's glorious and stupid and I can't believe I watched the whole thing. 13 episodes of what by all rights should never have been made in the first place.

And sad side note- according the member reviews on Netflix the lead actor playing Sparticus has cancer! Oh noes! So sad! And he's such good shape and he is one of the penises you get to see if you can make it past the first four episodes. There is a prequel series all about Batiatus which I may go watch because it's freakinf BATIATUS. But no new episodes of the main story until Sparticus beats his cancer. (I don't know what the cancer is I don't follow entertainment news, let's just hope it isn't penis cancer.

I should probably put this post under a cut for age limit, but you know what? What on earth is stopping the average 14 from clicking the I am 14 or older button? Additionally 14 is about the demographic Sparticus is aimed at to begin with.


che_gilson: (Default)

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